08 December, 2009
Firework light-year
Because natural instincts sluggish, yearn for a kind of simple wilful life, they say I am very slovenly, I am very inmature, I do not pay attention to the detail, I quite have no grade, want to transform me. So I destine, live very graceful while being impossible, I live, must have art very much then.
I do not wear the glasses, the cap will not be worn, swung in the sunshine low reaches in the streets and lanes filling in the earphone, download several pure good song Cai, voice of her thin, very clean, those cause a kind of indistinct warmth in being thin. Set out on a journey taking the warm. Hearing repeatedly. I stop to see the pale sky, I seem to see a fish, a piece of fish smiling at me. I wave at it gently with a smile. Or lie prone and see the soft cake on the transparent show window. I imagine being happy, and is crazy about this kind of feeling, the beautiful transient happiness when better than truly for a long time of the illusion deeply. My sitting for a long time is in the hollow square or a long time view look at the aeolian bell, whether they at this moment are waiting for the arrival of the wind as me. Having picked up conches gently, placing on seeming to hear the sound in this life of previous existence in one's ear carefully. Roam about, drift, give soul fit one peace and quiet house, let lively soul from idle to in spirit place.
Suddenly the brain had appeared " Wind cigarettes are all net " Four piece word, how long it is hear by of wind,suspect this time smoke gradually from parting not merely, happy. Stand on the hollow square silently, close eyes, become very light and very light to breathe. Missed and once leant against the life of listening to wind of the wall sometimes. Thinking all the time, it was anything very simple all one's life. When it seems to wake up from a sleep, hoary-headed. Then when it is sunny in the afternoon in some, move a rocking chair, count once beautiful years accurately under forming the corridor of all over Chinese wistaria, those places to pass by, the song sung, the person missing it. Man has a meal, read alone, one takes a walk and stops on the hasty street. Hum some old ballads, begin to have to take the note-book filled up with the writing paper at any time because of often forgetting, when but at the end, even forgot to should remember anything. Other shore spend, flower last 1,000 year, flower fall 1,000 years.
Say in village memory this kind container,because everybody the getting more different. Realize deeply. I am that a way is silly, the direction sense is very bad. But there are places, I will remember, can remember the scene being absolutely clear while being once. Some places also can't. The lost.,constant getting on the wrong bus, and leave give another vehicle the right of way constantly. . Whether really a kind of illusion has already gone to the end of the world. Dog-tired. Where is the next stop. Perhaps this roams about to drift. Heart concern about make a noise and alarm clock still, make a noise with the alarm clocks meeting and then even? One habit left, one habit right. And I want to travel left, travel right?
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08 December, 2009
This person's only language
In winter, the thing not really making people happy, I liked getting up and coming quietly suddenly. Often sit in front of the computer staring flankly alone, have sat for several hours. I do not know either what I am doing, I am thinking something.
Have suddenly received mother's telephone number: The child, how are you? But you have not gone home for a long time, the mother worries about you very much. Hearing mother's words, I drop the tears. Putting down the telephone, I sob uncontrollably. Someone says: The man has tears not to play lightly. That has not just reached the sad place.
I live in the county town, not far from native place, I go back at most by car the distance of 15 minutes. But I have not actually gone home for several months, also want mother and phone to be greeted.
Mother has black and white hair, the face of vicissitudes, the look that expects, freeze in my brain in a flash.
Outside the window, the piecingly cold wind is blowing the bare branch and lashing the windowsill, the pale sunshine is unable to shine the earth, gaze far into the distance, it is bleak and desolate a boundless one to be, the life turned into a symbol at this time.
To be fair, I really wanted to come back home, wanted to attack in mother's chest, cried. But tell me rationally, can't be so, because I am a man, a man 40 years old. I want any painful and unhappy parents and even family and child of me to bring me of me.
Walked in the boundless and indistinct one in this world, I felt lonely and helpless suddenly.
Some things are that only oneself is born, even if die in silence, it will not break out in sinking either.
Soul, has twist in not constraining already.
The life of repeating every day of machinery, except the servant who becomes the money, I can't realize people's real meaning alive. One that brave words just break out in a fervour is led off, after everything returns and replies calmly, inherent life does not have a lot of changes.
Perhaps, actually it was that one sighed over the cruel season that the life ended with feeling in winter.
At lonely night, thin moonlight, lonely soul is drifting with the ice-cold wind.
I say so, has not let others help me to bear painful meaning at all, I speak some things to myself.
The flower blooms and falls, the grass is withered and grass green. Hope and lose to life it is equally important.
The moon is round and then crescented, just sighing over the having no way out of natural law with feeling.
I think, this is really one she relieves the lonliness and grief, the day of this person's only language.
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