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Disgust
abu.munther | 14 September, 2009 01:09
What happened last night was disgusting
I don’t know how
I ended sleeping naked next to her ,, talking , I was talking a lot ..
trying to prove things to myself I guess , but I went deep inside and I
told her things that I don’t even dare thinking about with myself , and
it was disgusting
Me holding her head while she was throwing up in the toilet felt like being in a movie . fake
her smell , here feminine body odor all over me , filthy and disgusting
I
can’t stop thinking how did I end up there, how did I manage to drive
there look for the apartment and end up in her bed. With her kids
sleeping in the other room
The way she was faking it is
disgusting, the sounds she was making the way her body was moving under
me so animalistic so pathetic and disgusting
I thought for moment
that being with her in her arms will make me feel better , I thought
that I might feel that I belong somewhere even if it was in bed with a
stranger , I thought that I may fit somewhere , that I’m just like
anyone else .
But I was alone in there, far away, far away from myself, I was sad empty and disgusted
It was a weird night , sick night that managed to push me further in my
solitude , increased the distance between me and them pushed my away
more , all what I wanted is to sleep next to someone to feel the warmth
of another body I wanted to get close to touch ,smell feel some human
bonding
But I ended up throwing up , with more pain and bitter loneliness
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